Obscure Food #1

Are you bored with regular food? Do you want to try something new? I usually do too, and am always on the lookout for new, obscure ways to eat my favorites, so when my coworker told me about this, I just had to try it out!

Tuna and Doritos

Recipe:

1 cup Doritos

1 pouch tuna

1 Tbsp Mayo (optional)

Directions:

1. Open Tuna

2. Portion out Doritos

3. Mix Mayo into tuna (this step optional)

4. Enjoy!

I do have to admit that I found it a little salty, and it reminded me of something that I could never quite figure out. But the saltiness might have been due to the mayo, which included olive oil. All in all, I'd say it's a pretty good treat!

Obscure Rating: 7

Beverage Pairing (non-alcoholic): Juice or soda.

Beverage Pairing (alcoholic): Beer or dessert wine.

Why I'll Never Run A Marathon

I am not a fan of exercise, and I don't think I ever have been. However, I enjoy my health, so I try to exercise on a minor level. Just enough to defend my arteries from the outrageous amount of cheese I eat. Every once in a while -normally on a pretty day- I will get motivated enough to go on what I hope will be a long run.

Of course, I can't run in my neighborhood, because that's where I do my basic, 10-15 minute cardio, and treadmills are super boring for the long-haul. I will randomly pick a park with a long trail, make a good running playlist, and drive to my destination.

Until this point, I have remained happily unaware of my severe concentration issues.

The run begins. My thought process feels almost normal.

This is a good song, I love Muse!

I really hope that this run is awesome.

I feel awesome! Like...Han Solo awesome!

Star Wars is so good! I wonder how they run in space.

Being in space would be terrifying.

I don't ever want to go to space ever because I would be asphyxiated and die a tragic death and get all my blood vacuumed out of my system and - 

Maybe I shouldn't think about space anymore. Keep it simple.

It's such a lovely day!

The thought pattern may vary, but the end result is always the same. About five minutes into the run, I try to focus externally, on how glorious the day is. I turn my gaze to my surroundings, and am filled with the majesty that a pretty setting brings. I run with the smile that only comes when you feel prepared for a zombie outbreak.

Another minute or three passes, and my over-stimulation catches up with me.

That tree is pretty!

Oooh! A weeping willow! I love those!

Flowwwwwwweerrrrrrssssss!

More treeeeeeeeeees!

Nature!

AHHHH GEESE!

Here, I stop running completely to stare at the flock of geese, or whatever other animal I have come across. I will stare at the animals for long moments, trying to be as quiet as I can, and mentally abandoning whatever rhythm I had. At this point I should give up, because I will never get it back.

But, no. I eventually snap myself out of my nature-induced trance and hit the trail once more, because I am committed!

Half a minute later finds me staring at a tree. 

When did leaves get so interesting?

They have veins! They're green! They're sucking up sun rays!

I should maybe start running again.

I finally re-start running, but it's not the same. I can't help but want to observe the nature that I so very much love to be in. Very rarely - if I'm smart - I abandon my run completely at this juncture, find a bench, and just sit. More often I try to salvage my run. I try to regain focus by kicking up my music volume a notch. This is the wrong time to do so, because I'm all hyped up, but unable to re-find a nice rhythm.

When I am frustrated in not finding my rhythm, I give up and run to the rhythm of the song, which quickly escalates into abandoning my form for a more preferable limb-tossing half-run, half-dance. Of course, half-dancing can only be satisfying for so long, and soon enough I have stopped my run again completely to look like a complete goober on the trail.

Or, even worse...

I have completely lost any semblance to what my original goal was, and have started to channel my inner Celine Dion. I walk back to my car, singing and looking for a flock of geese.

Hybrid Animals!

It all started innocently enough, with a conversation between friends. I don't know if either of us knew that it would end in this, but when the topic got turned to what animals should look like, there was really nowhere else I could go.

I don't usually go to bed early, and so when my lovely friend Annie called me up to chat a bit before midnight last night, I was wide awake and ready to bounce thoughts and ideas around. I had my laptop up, and when I found that our words had turned to something to visualize, I immediately opened paint and started drawing. I cannot say that I am efficient enough to have done these rudimentary drawings in the ten or so minutes we spent collaborating ideas, but the seed for a post was planted, and so here I am, with a few of our ideas on how to make animals more entertaining to gaze upon.

It should also be said that I could probably just list the names of the animals we came up with, and let my readers imagine what they should look like on their own, but I wanted to draw, and this is my blog, so I win.

Annie and I had many separate ideas as to how these animals should look, but I ended up drawing them (pretty much) the way they look to me.

The Zebraphant:

The Zebraphant is a cross between a (you guessed it!) zebra and an elephant. It is an herbivore, and you should not fear it. It is as gentle as it is vibrant.

Annie envisioned this guy as more of a zebra body with an elephant's trunk and tusks, but I found out that I am much better at drawing elephants than I am drawing zebras. Okay, so the "much better" may be an overstatement, but really, you would agree if you saw the majority-zebra version I quickly tried before giving up on that endeavor. If the giant zebra body were drawn, the body would be a lot faster, and scarier to humans (stampedes would be particularly horrific). But, as he is, he's just a cuter (in my opinion) elephant, and not harmful in the slightest. Yes, I just decided he's a him.

I've decided to name him Raj.

The Pleamingo

We envisioned the pleamingo with lots of feathers and glitter, like something out of a Ke$ha video. Unfortunately, I am not well-versed enough in Paint to figure out how to make glitter happen, so my alternative ended in a slightly obnoxious-looking bright pink.

The pleamingo itself is mix of a peacock and a flamingo. And, I would have you know that the term "Pleamingo" is best. Putting the words "peacock" and "flamingo" together without the end result being ridiculously awkward is difficult.

The pleamingo gets no name, because it is elusive, and I'm not exactly sure what gender it is. I don't really want to know.

The Girunicorn

The most whimsical of all animals, because the Unicorn doesn't really exist. But I love unicorns, and Annie knows this, so we had to come up with at least one half-mythical creature. In a perfect world, the girunicorn would be invisible, but since that is rather too easy to draw, I decided to make an outline.

Because of it being a mythical creature, you will note the rainbow wings and tail. Flying is not the only difference between the girunicorn and its inspiring-creatures. Note the lack of ears. This is because the girunicorn is above hearing, and can read your mind. It's okay to be a little intimidated by its majesty.

And, last but not least we have

The Bearant

I imagine a bite from the bearant is much like being stung by a Bullet Ant.